hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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