I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
