Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
