Your mouth is God's brothel.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
