oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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