yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
