the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
