I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
