OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The beer is more important than you right now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
