She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
