Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
