So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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