we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
3 2 1 whiskey
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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