but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
