So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
