i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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