he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
50% drunk capacity currently
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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