i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
