If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
