Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize