you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize