Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
