piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
