I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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