Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
