it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
