So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize