VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
