Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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