Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
