Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry spankly hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?

Fav 56 1389 6208
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?

Fav 4 2766 2095
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet

Fav 11 6181 1023
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

Fav 10 2107 1317
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?

Fav 4 1023 902
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.

Fav 8 1941 863
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.

Fav 6 989 648
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.

Fav 2 673 182
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(501): View more from Arkansas

Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

The priest.

Fav 0 67 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT