hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
