Sry I called you an 8
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I am morally bankrupt
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
