508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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