i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
