I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
