U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
