you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
