Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
