I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
