Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
