he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
