Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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