A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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