Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
