That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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