it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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