The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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