A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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