my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize