After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Randomize
