Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
