yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize