Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
