It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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