do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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