see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
