She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
